GOD CHANGED OUR HEARTS AND OUR MARRIAGE
D & C, Granite Bay, CA
Married in September, 1979
D & C married young, and were excited about the next phase in their life. Others in their social group were also marrying and it seemed like the right next step for them. They had a lot of fun during their engagement, it was exciting, and they socialized with a big group. As newlyweds they decided to move away from their peer group and buy a house. They weren't sure they could afford a house in the area they were currently living, and they noticed that their relationship was not as deep emotionally as it could be. They thought they should move out of the area and get away from their social network to grow together emotionally. As early as 8 Ė 9 months into their marriage they started seeing that the relationship was not as deep, spiritually, or emotionally as they thought it would be. They had been married for about 18 months when they were expecting their first child.
D & C were responsible to raise their kids, work their jobs, but there were big differences in how they viewed life, and what they wanted for the future. They believed in God, believed in the value of marriage, but were not acting and living it.
C began moving away from the marriage emotionally. They had 3 more kids. They experienced a major life change when D got a new job. It seemed like they were always struggling to keep things alive in their marriage. By their 18th anniversary, C was done with the marriage, she wanted out. She separated from D, but they couldn't decide to divorce because deep inside they both knew that it wasn't right in Godís eyes to get a divorce.
On their 20th anniversary they made a date and were planning to go away, but they had a situation occur in the relationship that really pushed C to say that she was done. She went and consulted a lawyer. At that time, a friend at work asked if she could pray for her. That was a turning point for C. It drove her to her knees, and she began to ask God what He wanted. She listened for God, and God told her to go and be with her husband, honor the marriage and to be grateful for what had been given to them. She heard God say to stop behaving the way they had been and stop disrespecting each other. C rededicated herself to the Lord, went home and they began working on their marriage. C also started attending church regularly, and D began attending as well. Five years after D started attending church with C, he also accepted Christ as his Lord and Savior.
C became involved in a bible study group that made a huge impact on her. Being around committed Christian women, embracing the church entirely, and studying Godís word all brought about changes in her heart. C asked D to make a commitment to a date night every week, and she asked that their date be attending a couples bible study. He agreed, and also joined a menís discipleship group. That really began Dís journey of the heart with God. He began to see what their marriage could really be.
A big impact on D & Cís marriage was doing bible study together to grow spiritually as a couple, and being involved in individual bible studies where they could grow as individuals. Also making a commitment to spend more time together, openly communicate, and put God first.
D & C will celebrate their 28th anniversary in September, 2007